The Top 3 Things That Can Save Your Marriage

Nowadays, marriages are ending faster than it take a couple to say their vows.  Couples are finding themselves married to strangers or people whom they never really got to know.  So, what is the root of the problem? How can marriages be saved?  Well, according to the National Fatherhood Institute, there are several things that causes friction in marriages.

Trust – If you do not trust your spouse, your marriage will not last. Point. Blank. Period.

Abuse – Women (and some men) are subject to verbal and physical abuse in their marriage.  Unfortunately, the threat against their life makes it harder for them to get out of that situation. Abuse leads to major insecurities and feelings of worthlessness.

Insecurities – When we think less of ourselves or lack trust in our spouse, this allows insecurities to form.  Being insecure leads to distrust and unnecessary arguments with your spouse.

Religion & Culture Differences – This is a deal breaker for many families. If you aren’t willing to compromise and adapt to the spiritual beliefs and culture ways of your spouse, you will have major issues in your marriage. These things ultimately affect they way your household is ran and the way your children are raised.

Constraint – If your partner can not support you with your goals and aspirations, then they do not support your marriage. No one should halt their dreams for the sake of their marriage.

Abrupt Lifestyle Changes – Some spouses enter the marriage being themselves. When they notice that this is not what they signed up for, then he or she being unable to compromise (or change) causes friction and a lack of unified harmony.

Studies show that only 18 to 20% of total marriages are happy.   Also, a survey conducted on YourTango.com reveals that 58% of people believe divorce will occur at some point in the marriage.  Who is divorce harder on? Women or Men?  65% of experts believe divorce is hard on both men and women. However, a few experts believe it harder on women from a financial standpoint. It is harder for women to adjust to the financial changes to their lifestyle. Plus, emotional baggage on top of financial struggles are harder for women to deal with.  This is why it is important for women to establish their own careers while in a marriage. Don’t just be a trophy wife.

The reasons listed above are very detrimental to a marriage, however, they can be salvaged.  But the top reasons why marriages end are considered complex and harder to overcome. Thus, most marriages end because couple’s could not save or establish these three things.

#1 – COMMUNICATION – This is the number one cause of divorces. Silence creates distance. Couples who do not share their feelings or don’t tell what’s going on in their lives…will ultimately find themselves heading to divorce court. Relationships that survive are ones that have open and honest communication, 24 hours 7 days a week. 

#2 – SEX/INFEDILITY – The lack of sex and/or refusal to participate in your spouses sexual desires will lead to divorce. Figure out what type of sexual beast you are marrying before you walk down the isle. The last thing you want is for your spouse to demand that you do this or do that, when all you thought he or she liked was “missionary.”  You may not even be down with fulfilling their needs and wants. If so, you two will have sexual differences that can lead to affairs outside the marriage and ultimately divorce.

#3 – LACK OF ATTENTION OR QUALITY TIME/ NO MUTUAL RESPECT FOR THE MARRIAGE – For women, this is a area that is hard to deal with. Many have husbands that work long hours or in the military/entertainment business, for example.  With those type of jobs, the ability for the couple to spend time together is scarce. Therefore, spouses need to communicate and come up with a plan that will satisfy both of their needs and wants. If both have mutual respect for the marriage, determining what works for them should be easy to figure out.

A couple has the capabilities to save their relationship only if the both of them are willing to work hard at it.  Relationships can be saved through third party discussions with your church pastor, a marriage counselor, a family friend, or a therapist.  But before entering a marriage, couples need to be proactive. Seeking out a pre-marital counselor is a good way to be proactive.  Experts say that couples who attend pre-marital counseling sessions are less likely to get divorced than couples who do not attend at all.

So, if you are a engaged couple, please take heed to these things listed. The sooner you get a full understanding of your spouses thought process, the less likely your marriage will end in divorce. Remember, communication is the key!

Source 1, Source 2