I’m Marrying For Money!

Women are more successful than ever. They’re earning advanced degrees, starting businesses, and many are breaking barriers in Corporate America at record pace. For these reasons, it only makes sense that today’s woman would require any potential suitor to be her peer financially. Not only because women are attracted to successful men, but there is also a practical component that cannot be understated or ignored. If a man meets or exceeds her financially, it stands to reason that he is more apt to partner with her in enjoying whatever lifestyle she is already accustomed to or elevating it. Few women are willing to forgo certain luxuries in order to help protect the ego of a less successful man. So what about a woman who has made up in her mind that she isn’t going to marry a man who hasn’t reached “The Forbes List” yet? Or date? Is there really anything wrong with that? I say absolutely not. It costs money to survive, so it only seems prudent that before you start trying to merge your life with someone else’s, it’s in every one’s best interest to have their stuff together prior to doing so. This is where I draw my line in the sand. Ladies, there is a vast difference between wanting a man who has his ducks in a row and exclusively dating the (seemingly) rich. Any woman who can exclaim without hesitation, “I’m MARRYING RICH” won’t draw my ire but will certainly cause my eyebrow to rise. I’d question her motives, her concept of marriage, maybe in some way, her sense of self. To assert such musings and so boisterously seems like self-objectification. If you’re looking for a come-up then love and happiness aren’t what you’re looking for. You’re looking for a paycheck, a lifestyle, or access. If that’s the case, more power to you. However, as the saying goes, “Be careful what you wish for.”

In the age of the music video lifestyle (beautiful woman frolicking on the deck of a 50 foot yacht, as her adoring lover pours her another glass of champagne) it has become increasingly more difficult for two non-wealthy people to come together in love, let alone matrimony. The bar has been raised and it would seem more women are more comfortable asserting their desire to marry wealthy. Who could begrudge them that? As a society, we have become so completely inundated by images of wealth and affluence that it is no wonder why so many people have altered their list of requirements in a potential significant other. More women have raised their criteria to include a Bentley driving, Louis Vuitton Monogram travel set using, six-figure earning man. Standing in one of the most challenging financial periods in our nation’s history, it stands to reason why some women would want to change their tune and exclusively date men with boat loads of cash. Times are hard and bills don’t pay themselves. While most men believe that it is their responsibility to provide for their future families, (hello patriarchy) we also realize what some women want isn’t just a man who makes enough to sustain a modest lifestyle. Instead, what a number of women are looking for now is a man who can provide a lifestyle of extravagance. The multi-million dollar villas, his and her Gucci flip flops, and the key that unlocks the door to “polite” society. Finding a mate who is rolling in the dough is great, but it certainly isn’t something men tend to place as high a priority on as women. If she’s wildly successful, it’s an added bonus. We tend to lean more towards more superficial reasons. As long as she’s appealing to us that’s pretty much the only requirement. There is a growing population of women, on the other hand, who aren’t so easy to please. That’s not to imply that such women by default are unrealistic with their requirements nor does it mean they are gold-diggers. However, it does suggest that the financial status of a male suitor today weighs far more heavily in their decision to date and subsequently marry. Times are hard. When women envision their lives post wedding day, they need to feel secure and most would even venture to say deep down want to be excited by the lifestyle her and her new hubby will be able to enjoy—together. For the men who have not already hit the big time, in some cases, you need not apply.

How many ex-wives of professional athletes, entertainers, and the superfluously wealthy married for money only to find that what they thought was important (money and fame) were worthless compared to peace of mind? Or does the quest for happiness matter not if financial security is your only aim? I’m sure there is a population of women who are happily married to wealthy husbands. Though, I’d guess a vast majority of these women were either with their husbands before they amassed their wealth or they themselves are financially successful too, even if it’s less so. When you preface in your mind that you are only going to date rich there is an inherent surrender of other more important things. Big houses, exclusive parties, and designer handbags will more times than not take precedence over love, support, and happiness. Plenty of successful men have been accused of treating their eye-candy wives as property. Treating them as if their thoughts, feelings, and emotions were somehow irrelevant because of the affluent lifestyle they’ve been provided. These same women endure years of torment and loneliness until they muster the courage to reclaim their freedom and move on. Save yourself the time and energy. Can a humble, kind, and decent rich guy with Denzel looks and Will Smith charm swoop in and save a streetwalker (a la Pretty Woman with Juliet Robert) or fall head over heels for a maid (a la Jennifer Lopez in Maid in Manhattan)? The answer is yes. Is it realistic? The answer is no. My belief is if you’re more concerned with what you’re bringing to the table and less concerned with if Mr. Right is loaded or not, the type of relationship you’ll have with your future mate will be far more gratifying. Money has the potential to make life easier but it doesn’t guarantee it. That’s why getting married for the right reasons is so important. Besides, if two smart ambitious people come together in love, there’s no telling how much money they’ll be able to generate together. The amount won’t matter because through their love they will already have attained wealth.

Article submitted by André George, a lifestyle writer and brand strategist. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram @TheAndreGeorge .