Diddy-And-Cassie

 

LAWD, please don’t let the flood gates open…lol

 

Okay. So, I’ve been thinking of writing this post for quite some time. After observing the relationships of people I know, people I don’t know, and even myself, I come to realize that there are a few key factors with dating – especially when it involves older women. While flipping through Google’s rolodex of often talked about couples (or suspected couples), Diddy and Cassie’s alleged relationship popped up. The secrecy of what’s truly going between them blossomed over time. With Instagram hints here and there, whether or not their married, the two of them seem very in love (or at least, in a great space). So, why not use them as my muses for this post? Their age differences and character are perfect!

 

As many of us presume, 27 year old Cassie Ventura has been a lover to the 44 year old mogul for some time. How many years, days, hours, and minutes exactly?  Uh, we don’t know for sure. But, in the public’s eye, Diddy and Cassie are an item. What probably started out as a working relationship, evenutally moved from the studio sessions to vacations and red carpets. So, there has to be something much deeper there. If they are in love, then what’s the issue?  Age difference? Yes.

 

Let me know be clear, though, I personally could care less. Love is love. No matter the age, sexual orientation, race, etc. All people should live for them and what makes them happy. This post is to simply point out some things I believe is the reason why men choose younger women. That is all.

 

With Diddy being 17 years older than Cassie, a conservatively-thinking individual would frown upon their age difference. While some nonconforming people would welcome the union. So, it isn’t about what’s right versus wrong. Women who despise these type of unions may need to realize that there are reasons behind a mans actions. It is a reason(s) why he prefer to date or choose to fall head-over-heels for a young tender. Older men, 40+, have dated women in their 20’s and early 30’s for centuries. To this day, women 35+ have complained constantly, never to stop and really think about why though.

 

If you look at hip hop celebrities, Diddy isn’t the only one guilty of this.

 

Other celebrities (I can think of off top) involved with younger women are Russell Simmons and Jay Z. Russell Simmons allegedly began courting his ex-wife Kimora Lee when she was 16 years old. Jay Z even admits that when he saw Beyonce (around age 17), he know then that she would one day be his [wife]. They started officially dating when Bey was 20 years old. By this time, Jay was 32 years old. Their age gap doesn’t seem too outlandish, however, the mindset of a thirty-something year old is more mature than a young adult in their 20’s. So, what was it that attracted Jay Z and Russell to these women?

 

Outside of their obvious beauty, there had to be additional reasons as to why they preferred dating a younger chick over a chick their same age or older.

 

Here’s what I believe are factors when older men choose younger women to date:

 

1. Youthfulness – A women being “youthful” describes a women with energy (on one hand). The other hand can deem her as being naive, delicate, or not yet fully mature. This mean that these girls can be molded to a certain extent. If you had the ability to create the woman of your dreams like Dr. Frankenstein, would you? Most definitely. Instead of opting for a mature women who has been around the block a few times, a man would gladly choose a women whom they can help develop and teach a few things.

 

2. Confidence – Although women (young or old) may suffer from insecurities, the older ones tend to be a lot more insecure. If you are a single older women, you’ve been through so much in relationships that you tend to wonder if you still “got it”.  A young chick don’t have these issues most of the times. Why? Because they are young! When you are younger, you don’t have as many worries like bills, jobs, health scares, and so on. You can immediately pack a bag and go on an excursion, if your man calls. Unless you are parent, you don’t have to wait to confirm a babysitter for example. You can just GO. And the confidence in being able to Do You and Be Who You Are, are the things that men like.

 

3. Free Spirit – A young free spirit can teach an older man how to live. When their lives are filled with kids, jobs, and other things that prohibits them to live each day to the fullest, men may rely on their younger counterpart to be that escape. It could be that the guy hadn’t rode a bicycle since he was a teenager. A younger woman will be more prone to suggest that they go to the park and ride bikes. An older women (wife) may not do that. She may be too tired from raising the kids and working a 10 hour shift. Or may be out-of-shape and refuses to get on a bike.

 

Also, a younger woman live with no inhibitions. They wouldn’t mind going to the lake to skinny dip. An older women, on the other hand, wouldn’t want to experience that. Body insecurities, religious beliefs, their hair, and many other excuses will prevent the 40 and older ex-Mary Jane Girls shy away from it. And men don’t want to be with a woman with all these hangups or complaints as to why they can’t do something.

 

4. Child birth – As hard as this may be for some, there are men that date younger women simply because she has a better chance at bearing his kids. Once women reach the age of 35, their likelihood of having kids become slimmer and slimmer. This is why older women seek fertility treatments, surrogate mothers, or other forms of conception techniques. A man that wants kids (or wants more) will turn to a younger chick because she is believed to be physically healthier.

 

5. Sex – This should be a no-brainer.  Sexuality is no longer taboo in the 21st century. If you think it is, you are lost and out of touch of what’s going on around you. Young kids are experiencing sex at an early age. They are performing more than the standard missionary positions in the bedroom. They got tricks galore. But it’s not about what young women are doing that attracts the older man. Their willingness to do those freaky things is what separates them from your Aunt Bunny’s and Momma Joyce’s. And you know how the saying goes…what you won’t do, another chick will.

 

6. Control – All men like to feel superior. The alpha-male complex is real. Older women are less submissive. Two mature minds often see conflict. This may relationships between an older man and an older woman even harder to manage. Plus, men like for women to stroke their ego, make them feel like they are in control. A younger chick’s mindstate is more susceptible to be controlled. So, this becomes the better fit for the man. A woman that can be controlled – to some extent – is the ideal situation.

 

In order for older women to survive this type of ordeal, never blame yourself.  Understand that some things are out of your control. But, if you agree with some of my bullet points above, maybe these are areas that need improvements. Take accountability for it. Just because you get old, doesn’t mean that you lose all your spunk, get fat, wear granny panties and house coats all day.  Get yourself together. Keep that hair done, clothes sexy, and take a few pole classes or sessions that will teach you new bedroom techniques.  There’s nothing wrong with keeping it spicy. Be more adventurous. Be spontaneous. Surprise him with a weekend trip to the beach or the cabins. Bring more life into the relationship.

 

The goal is to make yourself feel good, first. Secondly, your goal is to do what you can to keep your old man.

 

And if all else fails…move on to the next.  Hell, he did.