‘Atlanta Exes’ Torrei Hart Explains Why Putting Your Goals On Hold In A Relationship Is Never A Good Idea

In relationships, we often find ourselves putting off our dreams so that our mates can achieve theirs. Although we believe that we are actually “balancing” the dynamic of the relationship, we are not. How many times have we seen the woman take the role of “housewife” and somehow her aspirations get thrown out the window?  This happens because the male take his role of “provider” very seriously.  As the “King of the Household”, he believe that his career goals are priority.

The downfall to this way of living is that the wife is not being emotionally and professionally fulfilled. Her dreams of becoming an executive at a Fortune 500 company – or a Hollywood actress – are placed on the back burner and may never resurface. Luckily, for “Atlanta Exes” cast member, Torrei Hart, she experienced this first hand and is now sharing her story in hopes that it will help other women.

Recently, she sat down with NecoleBitchie.com to shed more details on her life with her ex-husband, Kevin Hart. During their interview, Hart advised women on dating a famous man and how, most times, your goals are placed on hold.

Well for one, make sure that’s what you want to do. Because trying to hold down a household and achieve your own goals is very, very hard. Because you are supposed to be that support system and that backbone and sometimes you do have to put your life on hold. And I did that for years. I put everything on hold and then I had my children and then I had to put things on hold after having the kids and then you know, one day- I believe I was 28- and it just clicked. I was like dag, like, I’m putting everything on hold for me and I’m not feeling fulfilled.

And that’s when I really started pursing [my goals.] I was always taking my classes and always doing my research and always performing and getting onstage but I wasn’t 100 percent. And then when that moment clicked and I really did go 100 percent- unfortunately I sacrificed my marriage. My marriage did suffer- and I realized though I had to make that decision for me just like he made that decision for himself and his career.

So I would just say make sure you’re ready. Because it’s very hard. And learn to balance. One thing about that relationship, I’ve learned to balance my life. I have an awesome balance now. And preparation. My schedule, my balance, is in order. Which enables me to do what I do.

Torrei’s past-relationship with Kevin is nothing new. We have seen marriages play out this way for years. It is unfortunate when you look back and realize, as a woman, I’ve not accomplished anything for myself. You feel regret, pain, and worthlessness knowing that you didn’t fulfill your dream (s).

So, what is the best thing for you to do as a woman?

As Torrei Hart stated, “learn to balance.”   Relationships should be an equal opportunity. Both you and your partner must communicate your desires, then map out a plan of action. Once a plan is put in place, the relationship will begin to feel unified. Marriages/relationships should always be of benefit to both parties, not just for one person.

To read the rest of the interview, visit NecoleBitchie.com.

Photo Credit: BET